Despite having so much going on and interacting with so many people on a daily basis you can find yourself feeling alone. Dealing with the loneliness of motherhood is something a lot of working moms face. The bad news, it’s tough. The good news is you are not alone. The great news is, you have found a resource in Rose Gold Mama to help you through this, through all of what working motherhood means.
Major Life Changes Can Leave You Feeling Alone
A major life change like having a baby, kids growing up or switching jobs can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary actually describes loneliness as “being without companions.” Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced even if you are not physically alone. If those around you are not experiencing life in the same way or you don’t have someone you can relate to you may feel lonely. You might also feel lonely if don’t feel connected to yourself. Loneliness is a feeling, it is real, but it is not permanent.
Rinse Wash Repeat Can Leave You Feeling Like a Lonely Mom
Spending day after day, in the same pattern (wake, get the kids out the door, work, get the kids to bed, rinse, wash, repeat) can leave you feeling burnt out and lonely. As you muscle through these repetitive tasks and internalize the stress of your responsibilities, you may stop engaging with folks. It can be very hard to feel connected when the struggles you have of helping to keep food on the table and family alive (and even thriving) are dissimilar from those of your colleagues (the people you send the most time around). All of this contributes to the loneliness of motherhood.
Being a Lonely Mom Is Real
All of this is to say, the loneliness of motherhood is something many moms struggle with. There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are amazing and brave. You have recognized your loneliness and are actively trying to do something about it. That is why you’re reading this, right? So, kudos to you.Keep reading and then don’t forget to start doing. To help you out, you can download the checklist at the bottom of the page. This checklist is designed to help you remember these recommendations for getting out of loneliness and to feel more connected.
Social Media Is Not The Answer to The Loneliness of Motherhood
In today’s quick moving world, we are used to filling the silence with social media and busy stuff. Sometimes it seems like pulling out the phone and surfing Facebook for hours is a way to relax, when really it’s just a way to escape feeling lonely, inadequate or bored.
Retreating to a phone and getting that initial dopamine hit is comforting, at first. In the end it isn’t what you really need to feel better. This is not what will help you move past loneliness of motherhood or feel connected. To feel better you need to spend time engaging with folks who understand you and you need to get comfortable being alone with your thoughts.
Learn to be Alone With your Thoughts
It can be scary to be alone with our thoughts. Here’s the thing though, it’s healthy to be alone with our thoughts. Learning to be alone with your thoughts will actually help you to feel less lonely.
Step Away From The Phone
You can practice this by stepping away from your phone. When you are waiting in line. Just wait there, don’t cruise social media. When you are home, put the phone away and only check it at scheduled intervals.
Learn To Meditate
You can also learn to be alone with your thoughts by pracitining. A way to practice being alone with your thoughts is to mediate. It may sound woo-woo but who cares if it works right? And, it does. There are several apps to help you, just google “the best free meditation apps” (yes, you will need your phone for this).
Find An Online Tribe To Move Help You Move Through The Loneliness of Motherhood
To feel better, you need to spend time engaging with folks who understand you. They are out there. There are other moms who can relate to what you are going through. Here is where your phone can be a good thing. Be intentional in the time you spend online. Look for online groups who share your needs, goals and desires. Facebook has plenty of groups for working moms, breastfeeding moms, city moms, country moms, moms who like wine, you name it, there is a group. Find a group that fits your style, join it and be active in the group.
Find An In Person Tribe
This one is much easier said than done. Making new friends as an adult is HARD. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Meeting and connecting with people in person is one of the best ways to move past the loneliness of motherhood . A few ways to do this are:
- Take a group fitness class and engage with the other participants
- Engage with the moms of your kids’ friends (just give it a try)
- Look for a meet-up related to a hobby you have
Talk to Someone
Talk to someone about your loneliness. Feeling lonely is nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t keep that feeling inside. Talking about it can help to ease the pressure and loneliness. Reach out to a close friend. Call your mom. Or, find a therapist. There are now online therapists and therapy apps so you don’t even need to leave your home (or office) to talk to someone.
Lonely But Not Alone In The Loneliness of Motherhood
You are lonely and that is ok. It is also temporary. Take some of the above steps and download the checklist to help you move through this period in your life. Also know, that even though you feel lonely, you are not alone. There are many other moms out there going through the same feelings and you have the Rose Gold Mama Tribe with you too.
If you are feeling lonely, finding time for self-care can also help. Here is an article on self-care for busy moms.